Friday, April 2, 2010

Ups and Downs.

















We had a power cut. It was mid afternoon, and I was alone at the time because my girlfriend had popped out to the hairdressers. And I had a bright idea. I’d go downstairs, crank open the electric car park gates, drive the car out, and park it in the street. That way, we’d be able to drive off later in the evening without any hassle.

I live at the top of an apartment block. Of course the lifts were out of action, so I strode merrily down umpteen flights of stairs. When I arrived at ground floor level, I realised I had left the car key upstairs. So I trotted back up the umpteen flights of stairs.

When I got back to the top, I discovered I’d also forgotten my door keys. They were inside my apartment. This meant I couldn’t open my front door. So I stomped back down the umpteen flights of stairs and got a spare set of front door keys from the nice lady in the reception foyer. And I puffed my way back up the umpteen flights of stairs.

When I got to my front door the keys didn’t fit. I remembered I had recently changed the locks and had forgotten to give copies of the new keys to the nice lady in the reception foyer. So I staggered back down the umpteen flights of stairs to see if she could offer any advice. She couldn’t, but she had just seen my girlfriend return home and take the other flight of stairs up. And so I gasped my way back up the umpteen flights of stairs.

I rang the doorbell. My girlfriend was chatting on her mobile phone when she let me in. I didn’t have the heart or lungs to interrupt her conversation, so I got my keys and tottered back down the umpteen flights of stairs. The nice lady in the reception foyer helped me crank open the electric car park gates while I watched and had a gasper. Then I looked for my car in the car park, but couldn’t find it. So I crawled back up the umpteen flights of stairs to announce that the car had been stolen.

My girlfriend found that funny. You see, when she went out to the hairdressers, she’d decided to take the car so that she could do a bit of shopping. And when she‘d returned, the electric car park gates hadn’t opened because of the power cut. So she had parked the car in the street outside.

And she said:
“Oh – that reminds me! Would you nip down and bring the shopping up?”

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